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last night and this morning have been stressful. we made dinner last nite with mom (salad & seafood) - i think you had a taste of the latter. THAT was fun. however, once i fell asleep i was in a labyrinth of confusion and sweltering heat.
it has been SO hot and my sleep has been SO disturbed that i sometimes don’t know if i am awake or asleep. tues nite i had a dream that there was this psycho person chasing me and few other people in shaggy park-like space. in our haste to elude this person we ran back into them in this weird paddock thing. at this point one of our group suggested we just act like we can’t see ‘ em. so we gathered into a loose huddle and waited. then the psycho approached our group and we stood there shivering in fear. the scary person pulled out a small weapon and shot me in the neck! i felt this horrible pain and i knew that if let myself pass out that would be it, i would be dead…
then last nite i dreamt that there was this horrible serial killer, that i was related to somehow, killing people across country and i was so afraid that they would be coming for me. so much anxiety or something brewing below the surface here or maybe i need to cut out the spicy food in this minor “heat wave” we seem to be having. i dunno. but it’s fricking hot here already and i’m not sure if the ac will be on today cause our boss is out of town and i’m one of the few who likes to be cool.
…
wow. i like this alot. be…”more like the person your parents didn’t want you to become and less like the things you love to worry about.” !!! this kind of makes up for all the chaos of my sleep and this morning. *oh, yeah*. this morning i am wearing a white skirt that has already had coffee spilled on it and ink drawn on it and it’s not even 9:30 am.
who didn’t they want me to be? and what do i love to worry about? ack. ack.