Organic Mutant

The intarweb is mighty. Every now and then i experience internet ennui when i think ‘ o maude, i am so over this crap. The internet is just a massive vat of people screaming at one another and glossing over topics that deserve more thoughtful consideration.’ That is right. I get overwhelmed.

Then within 24 hours i begin shivering and shaking, awaiting & craving my next internet hit. Some obscure topic will rise from the vast estuary of my mind and i will **need** more information of this topic right now! Information that can easily and quickly be obtained from the font of modern knowledge and modern knowledge about ancient things.

The cycle continues love->ennui->hate->curiosity->love.

The latest object of my inquisitive interest is the mythical-to-me EMP gun. The fabled electro-magnetic pulse gun that concetrates these powers to interfere with electrical circuits. In my ‘research’ to find out how challenging it would be to build such an item, I have now ‘learned’ about HERF guns, which sadly i do not possess the will nor the technical know-how to manufacture.

So why was i examining the possibility of these pulse conveyances? To put it simply, i am stressed. When i am stressed my normally deep sleeping patterns go on vacation and i am subject to distressing dreams and night waking. When one is awake at the early morning hours in our urban neighborhood one is subjected to noises that are not bothersome enough to wake sleeping people, but are nevertheless quite aggravating to stressed out individuals who just want to sleep, maudedamn it!

I speak of the boys and their cars that go boom. They drive by at 2, 3 or 4 in the morning, booming away and then i am overwhelmed by such rages that i think ‘if i had the ability to suddenly destroy the entire electrical system of that vehicle that just drove by (without harming the occupant), i would by golly!’ Such is the way of the mind at hours when one should be sleeping.

Since I am by nature lazy i only want a solution with immediate gratification. Screw writing my city council representative and getting involved to create some sort of legislation to curb the noise violations cause then i might have to do something that will take me away from one true internet love!

It calms me to think of trashing those cars. I imagine the dimming of the music and the dashboard lights, the quieting of the fuel injection and the silent vehicle rolling to a stop. Then i fall asleep. Fin.