Organic Mutant

Ok so I am doing this ‘total body cleanse’ which consists of taking powders and packets of pills for seven consecutive days. It also requires eliminating certain things from my diet: refined sugars, processed foods, fats, caffeine, alchohol, red meats, etc etc. So that is great. I started it yesterday. It is great and I am happy to be doing it. But with my diet limited, it becomes a little harder to stay ‘full’.

There is a most wonderful salad bar at the Urban Market a few blocks from my office. Lots of veggies and stuff, and excellent grilled chicken. But today I’ll be meeting my cousin for lunch and due to scheduling issues, that wont be happening for a couple of hours yet. ANd the Urban Market is too far to go unless it really is lunchtime.

Yet here I sat, starving. So I decided I’d try out the work caffeteria, an established I’ve been warned about and suffered at the mercy of, but yet I decided “well, something simple can’t be that bad.” (Last time I ate there, I ordered a panini that turned my stomach for the remainder of the day.)

So I ventured down to the 9th floor where the ‘Sky High Cafe’ is situated. Meandered around the empty buffets (empty of people, not food), perused the offerings. There! I’d found what I wanted: a small bowl of chicken noodle soup - that American staple of latchkey kids everywhere. So I filled my styrofoam vessel, sealed the lid, grabbed a packet of saltines and headed to the checkout. $3. Ok.

Back at my desk, tummy grumbling, I unsealed the styro-bowl. My mouth watered. With my black plastic soup spoon, I gently canoodled the noodles. Blew softly upon the soup, to cool it. Raised the spoon to my lips and delicately slurped the steaming soup. Umm, hello? Taste? Where ya at?

It was like drinking hot water in a dirty glass. Gross, baby. This is chicke fucking soup. How do you mess that up? Open the can, pour it in the bucket, add water. It is completely incomprehensible to me how people who work in a kitchen (cooks) could so completley fuck up something as basic as chicken noodle soup. But at the Sky High Cafe, they can.