Organic Mutant

Talk about bad timing. So, just as I embarked upon my bodily cleanse, I was overtaken by a foul virus. In addition, at the very same moment, I had begun a new dietary supplement - ‘Ultimate Meal‘. Actually it is a meal replacement, not a supplement. But whatever. The point here is that just as I was in the midst of taking steps to improve my bodily health, I became ill.

Since last Wednesday, I’ve had literally zero social life and very little outdoor activity, as I have been focusing all of my energy on battling this damn cold. Lots of sleep, lots of rest, lots of hot soup, vitamin C, cough drops, advil, and Moula snuggles. Very little conversation, socializing, running around, and alcohol.

Thus my entire weekend was lost to this nasty cough. Most tragically, I was unable to attend the Lit Crawl, a wonderful event where you get to stroll from bar to pub to adult store, and listen to authors, poets, and writers read selections to a live audience. Very sad to have missed that.

No Coffee

On top of which suffering, I have now lasted 6 days with nary a cup of coffee, nor any other caffeinated beverage. I find it astounding the degree to which my daily routine and moods had become a function of the coffee ritual - whether a stop at Peet’s on the way to twork, a coffee break at Starbucks or SOMA with my co-workers, or on lazy weekends at the Grove, coffee has slowly but inexorably slithered its way into the fabric of my day. Of each and nearly every day.

Until now. See, part of my cleanse requires taking powders and pills along with my meals. Another part requires ingestion of copious amounts of water. The other part is eating a ‘clean’ diet. That means: No Coffee, no caffeinated drinks, period. No coffee means no caffeine rush. So that little kick I’ve grown accustomed to is now absent from my daily life - and has been now for a week. And I miss it.

And it is not just the boost itself that I miss, but too the anticipation. If I awoke feeling groggy or not totally rested - I found comfort in the knowledge that soon my piping cup of coffee (sugar & cream, thank you) would soon aleviate my doldrums, and I’d be chipper and ready for the world. But without the anticipation, and of course without the reality of that first satisfying slurp, there is no light switch that I can hit. I am forced to rely upon my true biology to deliver the energy and enthusiasm for facing the world.

This, my friends, is the face of addiction. And breaking it shall not be easy. But I’m going to try. We’ll see how it goes after my cleanse is done, and the imperitive is my own internal desire to be free of this crutch, and not adherence to the cleansing ritual. We shall see.