Oopers, someone forgot a key ingredient for a good time in the desert: a good attitude. Sometimes I get so fixated on the plan that when plans get haywire, so do I. So when things started out on that note — I made some stupid comments and felt sheepish about them — I got all discombobulated & just felt plain alienated from everyone except for Wade and Lucas. It was beautiful weather, a nice location, good planning and I still didn’t have that great of a time. Whoops.

Actually I was pretty disappointed. The last few weekends have been big on preparation. The Samhain party we went to had better results, but that may have been attributed to the fact that I got to sleep in my own bed after the fact and not share a little sleeping space with both my gigantor husband and my son o’the flailing limbs.

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Everyone keeps asking us if we’re going to have more kids and when we truthfully say we “don’t know”, we get all sorts of responses, ranging from disparagement of only children to tales of children who were deprived of ‘playmates’ or relationships with their siblings because the age spread was ‘too big to bridge’. I wish I had the Ms. Manners wry and witty repsonse memorized because in general this is a really personal question to ask someone (unless you’re the grandparent of the first child;).

Personally for me I just feel like it’s too soon and that if I were to the follow the logic of all the advice, I would be having the child for a whole bunch of reasons that don’t make too much sense to me. Having a child is a whole helluva lot of work and having one so that Lucas will have a playmate just seems like the wrong reason in my mind. I had Lucas because I wanted a child and if I end up having another one, it’ll be because I want a second child, not because only children are awful in some way and I want to prevent that from happening to my big boy. So if and when we’re ready to have another one, well, we’ll see.

Wade and I were trying to come up with an analogy for having children versus not. So far all we’ve been able to come up with is a renting vs. buying analogy. One is more responsibility, more work, more expensive, more maintenance, more effort, more heartache, more worry, but you also have more responsibility, more say over the big decisions, more equity, blah, blah, blah. It still needs some work and isn’t exactly poetic and also has some major problems cos you can sell a house and become a renter, but you canNOT sell a kid (and who would want to?). I love my sweet one. I delight in his existence, but sometimes I do miss my uncomplicated pre-child life. I think more than anything I am just utterly exhausted especially after a night sans sleep in the desert. {yawn}. So g’night.