Organic Mutant

So it’s Wednesday night. Wade’s at work, working late making sure another project ends smoothly. I worked this morning from home and from the office the evening for several hours before coming home to bid Wade good-bye. It’s lonely here at CasaWeX without his big presence. He fills my life with love and fun and hugs and conversation.

I remember that when we first started dating Mom and Dad used to always ask me ‘What do you guys talk about?’. Their initial impression of Wade was that he was terse, shy, and limited in his conversational skills. I couldn’t explain to them that when Wade and I were alone a torrent would unleash from him and he would talk, talk talk, TALK.

On our first date, we walked on a beach after a small meal and he told me so much about his life — his family, his experiences growing up, his college daze, his work life, so much in fact that I felt a tad overwhelmed. Later to hear them ask that question I had to laugh because their impression of him was so different from my experience of him.

Tonight I was trawling the internets and this* song popped up on iTunes. First the groove worked its way into my subconscious and then I saw the title and recalled the early days of the Wade/Xtina romance, I felt how much I missed him and how silent the house felt even with Lucas’ small coughs and sleepy grumbles echoing from the back of the house.
This song evokes something in my mind…the violins, the funky groove recalls to mind the days when there was nothing we had to do and spending the day in bed was something to which we could aspire. Actually that is one of my most treasured memories, waking up early one morning in Wade’s humble room in PB. (He’s not an acquisitive person innately. He lives simply. A few of this, a little of that — his only vice is music.) anyway, I woke up early one morning in his simple bedroom filled with a few small pieces of furniture, a bed, a nightstand, a shelf, a few clothes in the closet, nothing fancy and I felt this deep sense of contentment — it pervaded my being. I knew that everything I needed was in that room. It was a cellular recognition that true satisfaction does not come from things, it comes from our interactions with people, honest interactions that resonate in our being.

It is something I go back to in my mind when daily life is taking its toll and it brings me back to my center, reminding me that all the “problems” &tc are nothing compared to the wonderful people in my life that I love.

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* “Ijustwannalayarounalldayinbedwithyou” by Coup (& the title of this post)