Lately Wade has been taking Lucas on afternoon walks so that I can work. Yesterday they walked to the mailbox, the coffee shop, the park and the library. This morning Lucas started telling me about the MAIL and how it is outside. At first I was confused. I was like ‘Yo, kid, why do you worry about the mail? You don’t got no bills.’ Then my analytical brain realised that he was remembering the evening afore and telling me about it.

He does like twelve cute things a day — I can barely remember it all. Sometimes I call Wade at work and report all the good, the bad and the ugly. The other day we were laying in bed early one morning. Wade had left for work and Lucas and I were cuddling and talking and he told me a “story” about a big banana, bigger than a house. At first I was like ‘I’m sorry, mon cheri, I don’t understand’ then I realised that he was telling me a story to entertain me much as the wizard entertains him.

On the bad note, the other morning Lucas discovered his markers in an easy access location i.e. NOT WHERE THEY BELONG (hey, baby, please put them away in the future) and he scribbled all over his sketch pad, the floor, himself and the furniture!!!!! I was doing dishes in the kitchen and my mother-sense tingled because he was too quiet. I searched for him only to discover him under a chair, crouched over a notebook, scribbling away with marks all over heck. Needless to say, I shrieked ‘Lucas, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?’. Most everything came off, but the chair will never be the same. This is why I am not buying the sofa I really want because now I can be blase about stuff like that. ‘O, you dropped your blend on the dog? O well.’ I called Wade right away and reported. He was chagrined and I bet the markers will get put away in the future. OR. ELSE.

–
Half-way done!

A few days ago inspired by my friend Regina, I decided that we would make Play Dough. DIY. Interactive experience. So I opened a new tab and googled (yes, it’s a verb now) ‘play dough recipes homemade’. I explored about the first 50 hits or so and noticed a common theme and then copied this wonderful recipe into my Jill Bliss journal and went on my way.

This morning after waking early to drop the German car off at the dealer to get its aged complaints repaired, Lucas and I ventured out. Our adventures found us at Von’s (no hofooz, bons!) and we collected the ingredients for our concoction.

Once home we pulled out the mixing bowls and measuring spoons. I set Lucas up on the same stool he stood on the other day and got to work. I managed and assisted, but Lucas did most of the work even mixing the mess up in a bowl in the sink. I stepped in when the directions called for heating (or ‘fire’ as mon cheri calls it). We cooked it on low until we could see parts of it ‘firming up’ and then I pulled it from the fire. We let it cool for a while them I put some flour on the butcher block, spread it out and plopped the whole mixture on to counter.

Boy was it sticky! Lucas was like ‘o, man, this is gross’. He refused to touch it. So I started kneading it and told him ‘hey, dude, I need more flour. Help me.” He would sticke the measuring cup into the flour bag and pour me a little flour (less than a teaspoon at a time) here and there as I kneaded and molded the dough. Slowly but surely it took shape. It got less sticky and more ‘Play-Doh’-like — the way I remember it.

Once the dough congealed, we played and played. We used cookie cutters to cut out shapes, put it in his dishes and pots, pretending to make bread &tc. Until the crankies crept up on us. Time for nap!

I got onto the computra and read my boglines. Someone somewhere mentioned the movie ‘The Secret‘. Later checking my e-mail on my generically handled gmail account, there was another reference to ‘The Secret‘ in one of the newsletters I subscribe to.

My interest was piqued. I started watching and felt this instant connection to the themes being explored there. It reminded me of ‘What the Bleep Do We Know’, but is more direct.

More later.

Ever since Lucas could hold a pencil, crayon, or a pen, we have encouraged him to draw, write, and express himself. Sometimes he is totally into it and sometimes he just wants to eat the pen. He can draw a line and call it an ‘i’ or a circular thing and call it an ‘o’. Yesterday I taught him how to scribble. OK, I dint really ‘teach’ him, I just encouraged him to do what he does and gave it a name. Months ago I decorated a little table for him and painted the top with some chalkboard paint and gave him basket of sidewalk chalk and it’s come in handy for these days when he can’t get enough drawing. Today he covered the whole table with his scribbles and he would draw something and then tell me ‘moon’,'big moon’, ‘i’, ‘o’, or ‘scribble’. Of course, I was amused and enthralled by his creative output — much as I am amused and enthralled by all that he does.

I was thinking about it and trying to come up with something to write about for today (as I mentioned I am joining in with the madness) and it struck me that this month of compulsory writing are my scribbles. I am learning how to express myself with my tools, learning that writing is about sitting down and writing, not just thinking or talking about writing. I am finding my voice and practicing my ‘i’s and my ‘o’s and my ‘moon’s. The kid and I, we are just alike.

It went like this more or less:
‘One day the boy found a dozen eggs and spread them throughout the house. The next day he found some powder & did the same.  The third he found some water & did the same, but the ingredients mixed together and made bread & started rising & rising & rising.  The next day his house was filled with bread & he had to go live under a tree with his dog b/c the house was full of bread.’

Then the wizard said good-bye & told Lucas he would see him later & he popped away.  Then I peeked around the chair & Lucas told me ‘Not good!’ with a little tear in his eye and some lip trembling.  He said ‘Wizard bad.’ & I asked him ‘What you dont like the wizard?’ & he said ‘Not good.’  ’Well,’ I said, ‘We’ll see him later.’ & he said ‘No?’ with some trepidation.  Afterwards he recovered quickly.

p.s. the story was actually inspired by Lucas.  Afterall the other morning I awoke to a kitchen dusted with the powder I use to scrub my face (Lucas climbed up the stool and explored the counter) & a bed full of dish soap & Lucas with the dispenser in hand. Mebbe that’s why he took it to ‘heart’.

However some things are staying the same: diapers. Lucas is still a diaper-butt. We still go through many, many diapers each and every day. Some days I feel so very tired of changing diapers. This week a milestone of sorts has been reached. Lucas has pooped at least three times each day, usually in a freshly changed diaper. There is nothing that will make you feel the futility of your efforts more than changing a diaper twice in less than an hour. Because of my status as primary caretaker, I get the brunt of these diapers. In fact yesterday – even though I worked in the afternoon – Wade changed no diapers. How you might ask? I changed the diaper shortly before I left for work and Wade went over to CasaReY to partake of their coveniences and they kept Lucas so that Wade could bring me some dinner at work and so they subsequently took charge of diaper duty. So I have declared a diaper moratorium for my self . This weekend I shall change no diapers, but I shall still speak of poop.

Why shall I speak of it? Because when you become a parent, the constant measure of input and output is itself an area of active attention. I have (and I’m sure will have for many more years) many conversation revolving around output activities. It is a good measure of health and so we discuss the ins and outs of the diaper.

the one thing about parenting is that there are as many ways to do it as there are parents. think about that. i know that lots of people have made millions of dollars convincing you that there is one way, one tried and true formula that will help you raise a happy, content, controllable child. there is whole spectrum that opens up before you when you find out you are expecting a child. from ferber to attachment parenting, so many ways to raise a child open before you and it’s pretty daunting if you don’t know what you want.

of course there are some things that should be avoided all costs – abuse is pretty well defined, but there are lots of things that are not well delineated.

wade and i followed our own path. lucas has a crib, but he has slept with us for the most part. now, when he’s tired he goes to bed by himself. sometimes he’ll be cranky and i’ll tell him ‘hey, just go to bed and rest. you’ll feel better.’ then he’ll toddle off and the house will get very quiet. when i go to check on him, i find him sprawled on the bed in a deep sleep. while he is transitioning to his crib, yet he loves to fall asleep in mama and papa’s bed. when we go to bed, we simply pick him up and put him in his little crib.

we breast fed and still do this day. it was hard work at first, but he loves his boob juice. it’s something that works for us and after reading the continuum concept, i decided to keep it going til he’s about two or when he’s ready to give it up. it’s been challenging & sometimes people give us a look that says ‘are you crazy?’, but hey, people, boobs are for nursing babies, not selling beer. he eats really well and thanks to the super baby food book we have had little worry about his weight or his nutrition. he starts every morning with a big smoothie, filled with milk, nuts, fruit, flax seeds & whatever we have around and then we let him feed himself the rest of the day.

we also have used cloth diapers since he was three months old. (we went back to disposable for a few months once we started the bathroom remodel, but now we’ve returned to the cloth horse.) not adding more to our contribution to the landfill was our initial motivation, but once we started it seemed very natural. there is of course some debate about the use of cloth diapers in arid locales like san diego, but since there is a great amount of water consumption in the manufacturing of disposable diapers, we decided it was a wash. when we do use disposables we use unbleached diapers that do not release free-chlorine into the environment which can result in dioxin pollution. using cloth diapers has also catapulted me into the world of composting — more on that later.

since we adopted more of the attachment parenting paradigm, we also chose to use baby carriers as an alternative to the use of the stroller (now we do use the stroller on occasion, but didn’t use it for the first six months). we loved the moby wrap, which i read about randomly on some livejournal community. the best part was that wade used it a lot to carry lucas around & it gave him a chance to be close to lucas in way that kept his hands free. sometimes wade would be working on his book with lucas in the moby wrap and i would be free – free as a bird. however once lucas reached 12 months the moby wrap became unwieldly.

in maui i saw a woman in the airport with an ergo baby carrier, which you can switch from front to back in a matter of moments. we bought one and started using it right away. it is a wonderful tool. a few weeks ago, schmokie was in a terrible state. his long fur causes irritation on his back in the summer months and we’ve been shaving him (he looks like a little lion!) to prevent his suffering. i needed to take care of him & the groomer did a less than adequate job last time, so guess who was gonna do it? the unfortunate thing is that shaving him at home is awful – hair gets everywhere & there is so much of it. there is, however, a dog wash in OB. so one friday morning i took lucas and schmokie and headed west. now how could i, one person with only two hands, manage to wash & shave schmokie while watching lucas? the ergo baby carrier! i popped lucas in the carrier and in less than half of an hour – voila!- one chore off the mighty chore list. of course, i have used it when cleaning the house, gardening, hiking, etc. & with nary a complaint from my passenger.

again, this is merely stuff that has worked for us. i personally endorse these methods because they felt right *to me*. we used these ideas as a starting point because both wade & i felt that they made sense *to us*. there are things we could improve upon, but those are personal & not so much about tools unlike above. there can be a lot of pressure to conform to someone else’s notion of the right way to parent, so follow your heart when and if you choose to become a parent. anyways that’s my two cents for now.

twelve months

It.
can.
be.
too.
much.

I think what is important is to recognize that the ideals are significant, those mythologies taught in Social Studies classes all over Amerika. Striving for those ideals enriches us. It motivates us. & by us i mean me, of course. That is why i am choosing the leave the Democratic party and re-registering as an Independent. Why? Because i am tired of this flawed means of representation. The Dems seem to me to just be an extension of the problem, except for Barack. He makes me think about moving to Illinois just so i can have a rad senator instead of the interchangeable and shellacked Feinboxsteiner. The system is flawed. It is not perfect by any mean, but it is a system. I think we just need a new means of operating the system. So my small gesture for the need for change is to join the amorphous masses — please help me I am becoming Dad

People need to think, instead of being short-sighted, easily manipulated drones. People need to realise that we have problems of a much larger magnitude than whether or not the neighbor�s daughter has an abortion or if your co-worker can legally marry their same sex partner or if Joe-bob can order his butt-plug rifle online. China & India are coming. The industrialization of the developing world is going to change things a helluva lot more substantially than gay civil rights, women�s reproductive choices or gun sovereignty. It’s a kind of straw man. Personally I try to be more focused on a global perspective like burdflu in Romania. What?

Uh oh, gotta go. The wee one is awake and needing some momtime, some clinging monkey time.

More later.