It is clear to me that the simple act of doing it, of taking the trip and spending over 2 weeks in a foreign land, was a massive education and a huge growing experience for which there is no substitute or facsimile: I had to take the trip, physically, to begin to understand the vastness of our world – society and geography.

I feel so fortunate and appreciative for having been able to take the trip. I truly feel like a new person for it, and without a doubt I realize now how wonderful and mind-opening it is to spend time in different countries. I can’t wait for my next trip abroad – although I still have a lot to absorb and learn from this trip.

I’m about to head to the office for the second straight day. Unremarkable except for the fact that today is a Sunday. On the bright side, the weather is miserable today: rainy, cold, and windy. So I won’t be feeling deprived of outdoor recreation. Let me assure you that even if my day were completely free, the only reason I’d be outside would be to get from my car to the door of a store.

But why am I going to work? Because I’ve been tasked to do more work than is possible to complete in the allotted time. So in order to comply with my marching orders, I’ll be putting in a full day at the office. This is in addition to three or four consecutive weeks of consistently long days and even a few very late nights working at home.

Its annoying, and I have a few ideas about who is at fault, namely the nameless higher-ups who decided that cramming 3 months of work into 6 weeks was a dandy idea. Its messed up, but on the other hand I do have hope that this project will ultimately see the light of day. This is not always a given at my company. And ultimately, I plan on taking some comp time for this weekend’s sacrifice, so it is not as if this is unpaid overtime. So don’t weep for me, I’ll be alright.

I spent about six hours slaving over this project yesterday, and the amazing thing is that without the inevitable disruptions and distractions that generally crop up during a normal weekday at the office, I got done what would typically take two solid days. So — assuming that I get done what I intend today — everyone wins. I get my wireframes done and my work gets turned in as agreed. The project stays on  track. And at some point in the future, I’ll get my time back.

I can live with that. Thank you rainy day!

There is a big problem in my life that I have been ignoring for years. Or, just papering over and pretending to deal with. It’s one of those things that is private and if I chose to never mention it then noone would ever have any clue about it. It is easily hidden and even easy to ignore. Sure, there are a couple of times a day when I am confronted by this issue and am forced to deal with it. But the soon evidence of it is shoved back in a drawer, or hidden under other things. I’ve spent money to try to fix it. I’ve thrown things out, I’ve tried to just live with it, but it never fails to come back and bother me again. I know for certain that I am not alone in dealing with this problem. But I wonder, for those who’ve dealt with this issue successfully, how do they do it? Is it will power, is there some magical solution?

Some of you may have already guessed what I’m talking about. For those of you who haven’t, read on…

Yes, I am talking about mismatched socks. It seems every year I spend a small fortune buying new tube socks, new gym socks, new dress socks, new hiking socks. But it doesn’t seem to matter. Soon enough, the perfectly matched and specially purchased fall into the same old rut – only one sock remains. Who knows where the other one went? I don’t.

There are, of course, those rare pairs that somehow manifest a mystical ability to stay intact for many years, no matter how often they’re worn. For these gifts from the universe, I am greatful, and from them I am given hope.

But for the vast majority of socks, it is inevitable that sooner or later they end up orphaned. A single sock, trying so hard to fit in with other similar but not quite identical socks. Black socks with different patters. White socks with different toe details – yellow, grey, logo’d, blank. Brownish/greenish socks, all desperately searching for their sole-mate, but condemned. Their fates sealed: perhaps they’ll eek out a few bottom-of-the-drawer-no-other-choice mismatched wearings, or they’ll sit their, sometimes for years, unworn, in a desperate but ultimately futile longing for their match. And I, their equally forlorn conspirator. Deluded, pretending, that perhaps, maybe, one day the long-disappeared pair will crawl out from some corner, emerge from hiding, and re-appear through the eternal black hole of sockdom.

But nay. Mismatched socks to not spontaneously re-combobulate.

And as for me, the human manifestation of the orphaned pair — on the one hand I cannot find the internal strength to accept the reality of a lost sock, and on the other hand I abhor the thought of donning two that do not mimic each other in each detail: color, material, thickness, pattern, and logo. And thus I’ve doomed myself to a drawer, and a life, full of unmatched socks.There they sit, unusable. Unwearable. Unbearable.  Yet I’ve not the heart to dispose of them, clinging ever to the stupid, foolish idea that one day I’ll find a pair for at least one of them and for that — a faint and futile hope — I keep them all.

Moula siteseeing in SF

I spent many years oh my life without ever taking a daytime nap. It wasn’t that long ago when I sincerely felt that the idea of a mid-day nap was an unnecessary indulgence. Today, that notion seems pretty silly. In fact for the past two weeks, I’ve taken a nap almost every day. Of course I have excellent justifications for this nadir of nodding. Between work, which has been very demanding, an intensification of my gym routine, and travel, I’ve been pushing myself hard (while awake). And there’s another factor which can’t be avoided: I am aging. Gettin’ older. Not a spring chicken anymore. (Can’t take that string much further before I’ll be forced to use terminology I’d rather avoid.)

Anywho, after springing into 2009 with a blaze of energy and a sense of mission, the first two weeks of February seemed to have been a payback of sorts. Not that I am discouraged, but I do have the sense that my brain and body, while stimulated by my January flurries, were maybe a little fatigued from them as well. So now what?

First thing is to not be discouraged. On the bright side, January was a phenomenal moment for me, and let’s not forget it was a full 8.3% of 2009. That’s not a huge chunk, but it is a lot more than nothing. The ideas and inspirations that flowed through my veins two weeks ago have not disintegrated yet! I have a ton of ideas, plans, ambitions and goals that mean a lot to me. And don’t get me wrong; the past two weeks have not been fruitless by any means. But aside from work and gym, I haven’t been keeping up with things: writing, studying, and life managment have suffered.

So here I am on a Saturday morning all revved up to attack the weekend and make February mine. Mine, mine, MINE!

First of all, I have a big issue I need to challenge which I think is part of this lull: Avoidance. It’s a big problem and I need to get over it. I used to think that I was a procrastinator, but when it comes to important things I’ve come to the conclusion that procrastinating is not the issue. It’s worse than that. I have this tendency to avoid confronting issues (work, people, projects) where I’m uncertain of how to approach, or where I might encounter some level of unpleasantness.

It’s a bad habit and a crutch and I need to fight it. I hope to one day overcome it, but that is a long term proposition. For now, for this month, the plan is to take stock of things that I’ve been avoiding and take them on, one by one. I don’t expect it’ll be easy, but if I can just deal with, say, one thing a day, I’m pretty sure it will start me down the right path. And with that, I appear to have broken my February blog silence. It feels so good to be back!!

Thus concludes January with my 16th blog post of the month. But who’s counting? Not quite on the NaBloPoMo level, but for me I think it may stand as a personal record. I didn’t set out with a specific goal, but as the month progressed I got into a rhythm of posting every other day, and over the last two weeks I noticed that my days never felt complete until I either had written a post or had one in mind for the following day.

But so what, right? Well, I guess that depends on what this blog is all about and why it is that I’ve maintained this blog – along with Xtina – for these past few years.

Not that I consider myself a writer, per se, but I do love to write. The whole process of writing — from brainstorming about topics to editing and getting feedback — is a joy to me. To do it well — which of course is my goal — demands a certain level of self-reflection and self-critique. Although I write mainly for my own personal satisfaction, it is important to me that the sentences and essays I post are of a certain quality. That means there needs to be some level of structure, logic, and artfulness to the compositions. These things do not always just pour out automatically. They take time, focus, and energy to do well.

Because this is  a personal blog, it also provides a place to recount my own experiences and reflect on my life. This part, which I took much further this month than I have in the past, is actually therapeutic, in the sense that it provides a focal point and good writing demands, to some extent, that the author stakes out a clear position, rather than waffle or be non-committal. I find that too often in my life I tend to think about things without conclusively addressing them. The act of putting metaphorical pen to paper often forces me to think things through.

I am a great believer in the power of inertia. I’ve found that when I’ve been idle, in any way, it is always far more difficult to get going again. But when I maintain momentum, picking up steam, accelerating, or just getting things done, period, is so much easier. Blogging regularly is a perfect example. Blogging builds momentum for all these things — writing, self-discipline, self-reflection, and even interaction with family and friends.

One of the great joys I have in life is being creative. Designing, writing, or even problem solving are fulfilling acts. Partly this is because it is so much easier to consume consume consume, and over the years I certainly feel that I’ve become quite efficient at consumption in many forms. From RSS feeds to YouTube, music, TV, books, food, fashion, et cetera, too much of my time is spent consuming. All of which might be momentarily gratifying, but in the bigger picture it proves pretty unrewarding. Being creative is a defense, and a counterbalance to that often insatiable habit of consumption. Hopefully what I create is of some greater value than mere self-therapy. But even if that is all it is, I can find comfort and fulfillment in that.

It might be hard to believe that typing a few hundred words into a web browser can mean all of these things to me. But, it does. And, if I may go extra-meta on y’all, even sitting here at my desk and writing this post is a perfect example of the phenomenon. Yesterday, I’d had the idea to reflect on Why I Blog. But the answer, at the time, was just a notion. It was only the act of writing this post that really focused my mind on the question which then allowed me to answer it, and understand my reasons. Not  everything we do requires critical analysis, of course, but in this case I have no doubt I’m better off for having been through the exercise.

So, I get a lot out of blogging. And, I’ve gotten a great deal out of this month of posting regularly. So to our loyal readers, you can expect a continued stream of regular posts. This month of blogging has also triggered many ideas and inspirations for topics and themes that I am eager to explore in the coming weeks and months of 2009. I look forward to taking that journey with you. And thanks for reading, it means a lot to me.

The Cities by the Bays

I love the Bay Area.  I’ve been living in San Francisco for almost 7 years. Before that, I was in San Diego for one year, and before that I’d been in Berkeley and Oakland (mostly) since I started college at Cal back in the early 90s (HFS). I grew up in San Jose, and loved everything about that experience. Aside from my two short stints in San Diego (the other one was when my family relocated in the middle of my high school tenure) I’ve never lived anywhere else. I loved San Jose, I am a huge fan of Berkely and Oakland (hills, mainly), and I’ve always been thrilled to live in San Francisco.

For those of us who make “normal” amounts of money, living in The City demands some concessions. Rent (or a mortgage, if you can swing it) is very expensive. Yards are rare, as are single family homes and even garages. The weather tends to be a bit chilly. And in my case, living here places me pretty far from my family, with whom I share a wonderful relationship, and whom I miss dearly.

If city living exacts all these tolls, why do I live here? The list of reasons is long. I love the non-car-centric lifestyle. For years now, I’ve walked to work. This means I don’t drive to work! (unless I want to). My workday starts and ends with a mile and a half walk through the heart of the city. My gym bisects the walk, a perfect location for me. At lunch, I walk to one of a handful of favorite spots. At night, I can cab, bus, or drive to the bar, museum, gallery, or friend’s house. Weekend visits to Fillmore street entail a three block walk, and two great movie complexes are within a 10 minute walk.

The Polk, Marina, and North Beach are all short cab rides away. Shopping, hanging at a café, or people watching in any of a multitude of neighborhoods is always an option. And, I’ve become a regular beach-goer during the summer months, ever since I discovered the amazing weather at Baker Beach.

Equally important to the geography and cityscape, I have some wonderful friends who live in SF and the Bay Area, with whom I’ve developed longstanding, meaningful relationships. And I’m always meeting new amazing new people in this city. It is full of talented, engaging, creative people, so many of whom are working hard to create value, and change the world. Meeting them and spending time with them enriches my life. Also, San Francisco is the cultural center of high technology, and I’ve been fortunate to establish my design career here.

Yet, the tug of San Diego pulls at my heart. My family lives there, and probably always will. I want to spend time with them. San Diego is a great city, with a diverse geography and some good restaurants, beautiful beaches, and amazing weather. It has a vibrant music and arts scene. And I guess I could maybe find a job there, possibly. Probably. The walking life would be a thing of the past. I’d have to make new friends – I don’t really have any in San Diego.

On the other hand, maybe I could start surfing again. And maybe I’d enjoy living in a smaller city, with fewer options and less action. Maybe I’d get in touch with the young boy who grew up in the suburbs and loved it. Maybe living on a quiet street in a tract home would be … grounding? But most of all, I’d be close to my family, and get to enjoy those little moments that are lost when you live 500 miles apart.

the key

Last night I didn’t have much of a rest. I slept a few hours, but not the nice 6-7 hours I really need to feel good for a whole day. And today was a hard day at work, or what passes for hard in my job. So by the end of the day, I was tired! I wanted to come home and chill out. Read the Internets, read a book, play some music. Snuggle with the Miyouch.

But, I also had packed my gym bag this morning, and said to myself, I said “Self, today you WILL go to the gym, no matter what!” (Since I didn’t go yesterday). So, even as I left the office and headed to my car, I was debating whether or not to go. “It’s just one day,” I told myself, “it won’t hurt.”  “You’re in ok shape already. Don’t stress yourself. You need some rest,” et cetera, et cetera. Lots of mealy-mouthed, half-baked, semi-plausible excuses.

But then I thought of something, a quote which was given to me by a great friend, and one which I repeat all the time to my loved ones: Consistency is Key. … That’s it. Once that refrain resonated in my skull, I knew what had to be done. There was no more wavering. I hopped in my ride, drove up to Crunch, parked the beast, and strolled into the gym. Once I was there, guess what – I felt great! I didn’t feel exhausted, or worn out, or lazy. In fact, I really challenged myself and had a kick-ass session, probably my best one this year.

Wow, what a great feeling. I realize a good workout is a small thing. But the impacts of sticking to your plan, of feeding your good nature, rather than your lazy nature, those are not small things. They are the most profound of things. This is a battle each of us fights every day, whether we follow the easy path or take on challenges. Today, I was saved by three little words that have become something of a mantra for me. And it feels awesome.

take off, eh.

Even though life doesn’t exactly adhere to the calendar,  I can honestly say that 2008 did have a unique personality, different than any year I’ve experienced before. Here’s a look back at some of the new discoveries in my life that made a positive difference.

A. Podcasts

2008 was the year I really started subscribing and listening to podcasts. Podcasts are neat because they offer fresh content to your earbuds on a daily basis, at no cost to you! Plus, you have an archive of news or music that you consume as you please – not according to a broadcaster’s schedule.

During the peak of the campaign season, I found a handful of entertaining and informative political and news podcasts. Some of them are good enough that I still subscribe, including these:

• The Young Turks, hosted by Cenk Uygur, is a hilarious and smart show for the progressive audience. Cenk has a knack for highlighting the absurd and offensive antics of the right (or left, when appropriate) and presenting them in a  humorous way.
• Rachel Maddow is the single smartest pundit on TV. A brilliant addition to cable, but her podcast is a better way to consume the show.
• On The Media from WNYC – the smartest media  analysis show. Awesome segment this week covering Bush’s final press conference. Classic shit.
  

Beyond politics, I also found these podcasts to rule:

• Tiesto’s club life podcast offers up a fresh dose of trance each week. Tiesto is considered one of the top 3 trance DJs in the world, so you know that his music selection is strong. Only negative is sometimes he talks a bit too much. Perfect for the gym, or for the pre-party.
• More Apple nerdery than you can handle on The Talk Show with Gruber and Benjamin. Last new episode came out in October. But, it was great while it lasted.
• Real Late with Peter Roseberg comes from uber-station Hot 97 in NYC. Rosenberg is the quixotic DJ who finds – and plays – the real deal hip hop. Not the BS MTV/BET/KMEL stuff. And, he’s funny.
• Edge of Sports host Dave Zirin brings together the people from the sports world and politics. So, I guess it is kind of politics-y, but not really. Intellectual for the sports fan.

B. Other Stuff

I discovered some non-podcast things, too:

• Traveling lunges transformed my lower body workout routine from average to BLAU!
  
• Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz was easily the best book I read in ’08. A book unlike any other I’ve come across.
• Cambria. I had always imagined a town like this  – the quintessential central California beach town – exisred, but never knew that it actually did. In reality, far more magical than I could have hoped. A real treasure.
• The wonders of Yelp on the iPhone ensured I never got lost or ate at a third-rate, overpriced restaurant, no matter what city or neighborhood I was in.
• Keyshia Cole, Immortal Technique, Milosh, and Dining Rooms were the new artists I heard for the first time in 2008 that I played the most.
• Honey Crisp apples. Holy mackerel, where have these apples been all my life! They are sweet, they are crispy, they are perfect. Oh, and they’re organic at my local Whole Foods. Yum.

C. The Main Thing

The discovery of the greatest significance, though, was when I realized how much drinking was affecting my sleep. Since my college days, I had suffered from ‘transient insomnia’ and for many years just lived with it. Today, I have no such affliction. Why? Well, thanks to something I discovered during my first alcohol fast, last May: a crash course in the power of sugar. Prior to the fast, I was drinking easily two drinks a night before bed. Sometimes, more. And, almost without fail, after crashing, I’d wake in the middle of the night and then toss and turn, unable to return to deep sleep.

Once I began the fast, I regularly experienced nights of uninterupted sleep. It did not take long to figure out what was going on: the sugar content of the alcohol had been messing with sugar levels in my blood and, thus, my sleep. Wow. That revelation reinforced my motivation and efforts to cut way back on drinking.

The consequences of both of these changes (less alcohol, more sleep) are hard to overstate. I feel better, I look better, I spend less. And there is nothing that can replace, or make up for, a good night of sleep. Psychologically, emotionally, and physically, there is no subsitute for rest.

D. In Conclusion

There were other things, too. I finally listened to Getting Things Done, and instituted GTD principals at work and home. I paid off two huge loans, and discovered the joy of having money in my bank account. I didn’t discover, exactly, my drawing talent. But I did continue to develop it, and that has been a proud personal achievement, too.

All in all, not a static year. And that, above all, is what is important. Life, as they say, is a journey. I don’t want to be in the same place from year to year. To grow is to discover new things – some good, some bad – and evolve. And sometimes, a podcast is just the tool to do that.

Happy discoveries to you in 2009!

Morning Moula

Week two of the oh-nine is done. Status report:

• The Year without Coffee is proceeding as planned, allowing me to begin my explorations into the world of tea.
• I hit the gym 4 days last week. 3 days so far this week. The goal is 4 days a week without fail. Maybe later when my discipline and/or stamina, I can do 5 days.
• No snowboarding yet. Doh! I really, really want/need to get on the mountain. There was a good storm over the New Year’s weekend … when I was in San Diego. And since then, work has been demanding. I’ve got this long weekend starting tonight. Unfortunately, we are in the middle of a bizarre winter heat wave, so I’m afraid the snow will be more like slush. Fail.
• My blogging was doing great … until about Tuesday.
• Saw Malcolm Gladwell give a talk last night. I really dig stuff like that. He is really compelling, and hearing him speak about his process, and even deconstruct his books, was brilliant. I need more stuff like that to feed my own noggin.
• Trying to launch my car design blog. But right now, it is (momentarily only!) in stall mode.
• Working on laying out travel plans for the year. I need to go to Spain, goddammit!!
• Also, I need to really buckle down in terms of taking a class or two. Capoiera? Guitar? … any other suggestions? My goal is to make a committment this weekend.
• Football is winding down, only 3 games left in the season. This is sad for me – I hate it when there’s no football on Sundays. But the upside is that I end up spending lots more time outdoors on the weekend!
• A friend of mine mentioned this group he is working on putting together – like a collection of smart, motivated people who get together to inspire, motivate, and help eachother. It sounds real cool. We’ll see what comes of it.

That’s just a random take on things. Not far off from a comprehensive list. But I am trying to keep taking stock of where I am. You know how these things can go: First of the year, you are all excited and motivated, then you start to forget all that enthusiasm, and before you know it, it is March and all the things you were planning on accomplishing have been steamrolled by “life”, or laziness, or whatever. …NOT THIS YEAR!!

my little sunshine

Sometimes you look at the calendar and say “wow, it’s already [day/year/month]“.

Sometimes you look at all you’ve done and say “wow, I can’t believe it’s only [time/month/day]“.

I want 2009 to be the second kind of year. So far, so good.