I could, of course, concoct a vague, notional description of an archetypal day (rise, eat, email, walk, meetings, design, depart, etc) but it would be just a ghost, not a truth. On the other hand, I can picture quite clearly my arrival at La Familia Sagrada, my ascent to the top of Yosemite Falls, the moments around Moula’s passing, or holding Lala’s hand for the first time in the desert. I remember making coffee at dawn and climbing bizarre rocks last year in Anza Borrego as we made our film, or walking across the lawn at Mission Bay with Mom and Dad towards my uncle’s memorial. Or hanging out at Dolores Park in September, the air so warm and the sun setting, reveling in the last days of summer with thousands of other souls.

I remember, and I recall these things with gratitude and longing. But sometimes, such memories feel like dust. Ephemeral and temporary, easily washed away. So while I have them, I cherish them.

It is clear to me that the simple act of doing it, of taking the trip and spending over 2 weeks in a foreign land, was a massive education and a huge growing experience for which there is no substitute or facsimile: I had to take the trip, physically, to begin to understand the vastness of our world – society and geography.

I feel so fortunate and appreciative for having been able to take the trip. I truly feel like a new person for it, and without a doubt I realize now how wonderful and mind-opening it is to spend time in different countries. I can’t wait for my next trip abroad – although I still have a lot to absorb and learn from this trip.

Big Sur, Julia Pfeiffer Beach trail from r.g.munoz on Vimeo.

finally edited! enjoy….

Cool song a highly creative video. Watching is encouraged.

I’m about to head to the office for the second straight day. Unremarkable except for the fact that today is a Sunday. On the bright side, the weather is miserable today: rainy, cold, and windy. So I won’t be feeling deprived of outdoor recreation. Let me assure you that even if my day were completely free, the only reason I’d be outside would be to get from my car to the door of a store.

But why am I going to work? Because I’ve been tasked to do more work than is possible to complete in the allotted time. So in order to comply with my marching orders, I’ll be putting in a full day at the office. This is in addition to three or four consecutive weeks of consistently long days and even a few very late nights working at home.

Its annoying, and I have a few ideas about who is at fault, namely the nameless higher-ups who decided that cramming 3 months of work into 6 weeks was a dandy idea. Its messed up, but on the other hand I do have hope that this project will ultimately see the light of day. This is not always a given at my company. And ultimately, I plan on taking some comp time for this weekend’s sacrifice, so it is not as if this is unpaid overtime. So don’t weep for me, I’ll be alright.

I spent about six hours slaving over this project yesterday, and the amazing thing is that without the inevitable disruptions and distractions that generally crop up during a normal weekday at the office, I got done what would typically take two solid days. So — assuming that I get done what I intend today — everyone wins. I get my wireframes done and my work gets turned in as agreed. The project stays on  track. And at some point in the future, I’ll get my time back.

I can live with that. Thank you rainy day!

There is a big problem in my life that I have been ignoring for years. Or, just papering over and pretending to deal with. It’s one of those things that is private and if I chose to never mention it then noone would ever have any clue about it. It is easily hidden and even easy to ignore. Sure, there are a couple of times a day when I am confronted by this issue and am forced to deal with it. But the soon evidence of it is shoved back in a drawer, or hidden under other things. I’ve spent money to try to fix it. I’ve thrown things out, I’ve tried to just live with it, but it never fails to come back and bother me again. I know for certain that I am not alone in dealing with this problem. But I wonder, for those who’ve dealt with this issue successfully, how do they do it? Is it will power, is there some magical solution?

Some of you may have already guessed what I’m talking about. For those of you who haven’t, read on…

Yes, I am talking about mismatched socks. It seems every year I spend a small fortune buying new tube socks, new gym socks, new dress socks, new hiking socks. But it doesn’t seem to matter. Soon enough, the perfectly matched and specially purchased fall into the same old rut – only one sock remains. Who knows where the other one went? I don’t.

There are, of course, those rare pairs that somehow manifest a mystical ability to stay intact for many years, no matter how often they’re worn. For these gifts from the universe, I am greatful, and from them I am given hope.

But for the vast majority of socks, it is inevitable that sooner or later they end up orphaned. A single sock, trying so hard to fit in with other similar but not quite identical socks. Black socks with different patters. White socks with different toe details – yellow, grey, logo’d, blank. Brownish/greenish socks, all desperately searching for their sole-mate, but condemned. Their fates sealed: perhaps they’ll eek out a few bottom-of-the-drawer-no-other-choice mismatched wearings, or they’ll sit their, sometimes for years, unworn, in a desperate but ultimately futile longing for their match. And I, their equally forlorn conspirator. Deluded, pretending, that perhaps, maybe, one day the long-disappeared pair will crawl out from some corner, emerge from hiding, and re-appear through the eternal black hole of sockdom.

But nay. Mismatched socks to not spontaneously re-combobulate.

And as for me, the human manifestation of the orphaned pair — on the one hand I cannot find the internal strength to accept the reality of a lost sock, and on the other hand I abhor the thought of donning two that do not mimic each other in each detail: color, material, thickness, pattern, and logo. And thus I’ve doomed myself to a drawer, and a life, full of unmatched socks.There they sit, unusable. Unwearable. Unbearable.  Yet I’ve not the heart to dispose of them, clinging ever to the stupid, foolish idea that one day I’ll find a pair for at least one of them and for that — a faint and futile hope — I keep them all.

Moula siteseeing in SF

I spent many years oh my life without ever taking a daytime nap. It wasn’t that long ago when I sincerely felt that the idea of a mid-day nap was an unnecessary indulgence. Today, that notion seems pretty silly. In fact for the past two weeks, I’ve taken a nap almost every day. Of course I have excellent justifications for this nadir of nodding. Between work, which has been very demanding, an intensification of my gym routine, and travel, I’ve been pushing myself hard (while awake). And there’s another factor which can’t be avoided: I am aging. Gettin’ older. Not a spring chicken anymore. (Can’t take that string much further before I’ll be forced to use terminology I’d rather avoid.)

Anywho, after springing into 2009 with a blaze of energy and a sense of mission, the first two weeks of February seemed to have been a payback of sorts. Not that I am discouraged, but I do have the sense that my brain and body, while stimulated by my January flurries, were maybe a little fatigued from them as well. So now what?

First thing is to not be discouraged. On the bright side, January was a phenomenal moment for me, and let’s not forget it was a full 8.3% of 2009. That’s not a huge chunk, but it is a lot more than nothing. The ideas and inspirations that flowed through my veins two weeks ago have not disintegrated yet! I have a ton of ideas, plans, ambitions and goals that mean a lot to me. And don’t get me wrong; the past two weeks have not been fruitless by any means. But aside from work and gym, I haven’t been keeping up with things: writing, studying, and life managment have suffered.

So here I am on a Saturday morning all revved up to attack the weekend and make February mine. Mine, mine, MINE!

First of all, I have a big issue I need to challenge which I think is part of this lull: Avoidance. It’s a big problem and I need to get over it. I used to think that I was a procrastinator, but when it comes to important things I’ve come to the conclusion that procrastinating is not the issue. It’s worse than that. I have this tendency to avoid confronting issues (work, people, projects) where I’m uncertain of how to approach, or where I might encounter some level of unpleasantness.

It’s a bad habit and a crutch and I need to fight it. I hope to one day overcome it, but that is a long term proposition. For now, for this month, the plan is to take stock of things that I’ve been avoiding and take them on, one by one. I don’t expect it’ll be easy, but if I can just deal with, say, one thing a day, I’m pretty sure it will start me down the right path. And with that, I appear to have broken my February blog silence. It feels so good to be back!!

pre-game

3:34pm Loving Patreaus at the coin flip. Subtle reminder of The Surge®

first quarter

3:39 Hines Ward COMPLETELY UNCOVERED. AZ defensive FAIL
3:42 Roethlisburger ran that TD like a fullback. Tough dude.
3:44 Angels & Demons commercial Рmore like Cornballs and Clich̩s
3:46 BEST CHALLENGE EVER.
3:47 Holding the Steelers to a field goal on their opening drive is a big deal. Makes it a little tougher for them to build a head of steam.

(note, now changing time stamps to Quarter & Time Left, rather than local time. Duh)

4:34 Rogers-Cromartie just saved his life
3:09 AZ defense looks slow.

0:00 At this rate, Steelers are going to win 12-0

2nd Quarter:

14:01 – Russell with the rush TD Steelers. I bet Willie Parker is pissed.
13:54 – Star Trek: Best movie advertised so far.
10:46 – AZ appears to be finding their sea-legs.
12:27 – “Big” Breaston with a big first down.
8:34 – Warner trips, then makes amazing throw. Patrick makes amazing catch. TD Cards.
6:56 – Rogers-Cromartie with his second big pass defense. He’s now officially in the “shutdown corner” category.

2:00 – dreading the halftime show
1:54 – Kurt Warner rolling out is like John Madden in a beauty contest: Makes no sense.
0:18 – Warner & Cards are way too smart for Steelers! I smell a TD and a halftime lead coming up.
0:00 – Oops. 100-yard pick six for Pit. Wrong.

Halftime

Every time I see Matt Millen commentating, I cringe. This is the man that built the only 0-16 team in NFL history. He has as much credibility on football as Wolfowitz has on foreign policy.

30 seconds in and so far the halftime show is far worse than I had feared. But I feel like I have to keep watching so I can live blog it. Kill me now.

John Madden’s head is the size of a steering wheel.

3rd quarter

14:02 – James is a beast.
10:53 – Cards blew that drive. They needed to score. If their defense does not stop Pittsburgh cold, that’s it.
10:05 – Pitt in weirdest formation ever – 4 receivers split to the left? Now I’ve seen it all. And then a facemask penalty against AZ. Not good.
7:31 – Pitt at AZ 20. The End Is Near.
(commercial break) Coke insect CGI commercial was beautiful.
1:38 – down 20-7, Arizona still clinging to life. Please score on this drive, so that the 4th quarter will not one of supreme suckiness.

4th quarter

13:51 – Can I revise my prediction now?

7:33 – Fantastic touchdown drive by Warner & the Cards’ offense. This thing ain’t over!
5:14 – Arizona driving again. Al Michaels with the sweet dig at Pitt defender Taylor, “He’s not swaggin now” after he got called for a personal foul.
3:41 – 3rd & 20. Oh man.
3:26 – ok, so Arizona had to punt. But they pin PIT inside the 1.  ZOMG!
2:58 – Holding penalty in the end zone for a safety. Do not recall a game so dominated by penalty calls. (In this case, nearly all have been totally legit.)

2:37 – LARRY FITZGERALD 60 YARD TD. FOR! THE! WIN!

1:16 – holy crap Pit is driving. … Past midfield already.
0:49 – 35 yard pass-and-run to the 4-yard line. Second amazing drive. Pitt might win this one yet.

0:00 – Wow what a finish. So good I forgot to keep live-blogging it. Holmes made an astounding, leaping catch in the back corner of the end zone … FTW.

Conclusion

Final Score: Cardinals 23, Pittsburg 27

Hell of a game. Could have gone either way. Biggest play of all was the 100 pick 6 to end the first half. But Pittsburgh earned it. Harumph.

Thus concludes January with my 16th blog post of the month. But who’s counting? Not quite on the NaBloPoMo level, but for me I think it may stand as a personal record. I didn’t set out with a specific goal, but as the month progressed I got into a rhythm of posting every other day, and over the last two weeks I noticed that my days never felt complete until I either had written a post or had one in mind for the following day.

But so what, right? Well, I guess that depends on what this blog is all about and why it is that I’ve maintained this blog – along with Xtina – for these past few years.

Not that I consider myself a writer, per se, but I do love to write. The whole process of writing — from brainstorming about topics to editing and getting feedback — is a joy to me. To do it well — which of course is my goal — demands a certain level of self-reflection and self-critique. Although I write mainly for my own personal satisfaction, it is important to me that the sentences and essays I post are of a certain quality. That means there needs to be some level of structure, logic, and artfulness to the compositions. These things do not always just pour out automatically. They take time, focus, and energy to do well.

Because this is  a personal blog, it also provides a place to recount my own experiences and reflect on my life. This part, which I took much further this month than I have in the past, is actually therapeutic, in the sense that it provides a focal point and good writing demands, to some extent, that the author stakes out a clear position, rather than waffle or be non-committal. I find that too often in my life I tend to think about things without conclusively addressing them. The act of putting metaphorical pen to paper often forces me to think things through.

I am a great believer in the power of inertia. I’ve found that when I’ve been idle, in any way, it is always far more difficult to get going again. But when I maintain momentum, picking up steam, accelerating, or just getting things done, period, is so much easier. Blogging regularly is a perfect example. Blogging builds momentum for all these things — writing, self-discipline, self-reflection, and even interaction with family and friends.

One of the great joys I have in life is being creative. Designing, writing, or even problem solving are fulfilling acts. Partly this is because it is so much easier to consume consume consume, and over the years I certainly feel that I’ve become quite efficient at consumption in many forms. From RSS feeds to YouTube, music, TV, books, food, fashion, et cetera, too much of my time is spent consuming. All of which might be momentarily gratifying, but in the bigger picture it proves pretty unrewarding. Being creative is a defense, and a counterbalance to that often insatiable habit of consumption. Hopefully what I create is of some greater value than mere self-therapy. But even if that is all it is, I can find comfort and fulfillment in that.

It might be hard to believe that typing a few hundred words into a web browser can mean all of these things to me. But, it does. And, if I may go extra-meta on y’all, even sitting here at my desk and writing this post is a perfect example of the phenomenon. Yesterday, I’d had the idea to reflect on Why I Blog. But the answer, at the time, was just a notion. It was only the act of writing this post that really focused my mind on the question which then allowed me to answer it, and understand my reasons. Not  everything we do requires critical analysis, of course, but in this case I have no doubt I’m better off for having been through the exercise.

So, I get a lot out of blogging. And, I’ve gotten a great deal out of this month of posting regularly. So to our loyal readers, you can expect a continued stream of regular posts. This month of blogging has also triggered many ideas and inspirations for topics and themes that I am eager to explore in the coming weeks and months of 2009. I look forward to taking that journey with you. And thanks for reading, it means a lot to me.

The Cities by the Bays

I love the Bay Area.  I’ve been living in San Francisco for almost 7 years. Before that, I was in San Diego for one year, and before that I’d been in Berkeley and Oakland (mostly) since I started college at Cal back in the early 90s (HFS). I grew up in San Jose, and loved everything about that experience. Aside from my two short stints in San Diego (the other one was when my family relocated in the middle of my high school tenure) I’ve never lived anywhere else. I loved San Jose, I am a huge fan of Berkely and Oakland (hills, mainly), and I’ve always been thrilled to live in San Francisco.

For those of us who make “normal” amounts of money, living in The City demands some concessions. Rent (or a mortgage, if you can swing it) is very expensive. Yards are rare, as are single family homes and even garages. The weather tends to be a bit chilly. And in my case, living here places me pretty far from my family, with whom I share a wonderful relationship, and whom I miss dearly.

If city living exacts all these tolls, why do I live here? The list of reasons is long. I love the non-car-centric lifestyle. For years now, I’ve walked to work. This means I don’t drive to work! (unless I want to). My workday starts and ends with a mile and a half walk through the heart of the city. My gym bisects the walk, a perfect location for me. At lunch, I walk to one of a handful of favorite spots. At night, I can cab, bus, or drive to the bar, museum, gallery, or friend’s house. Weekend visits to Fillmore street entail a three block walk, and two great movie complexes are within a 10 minute walk.

The Polk, Marina, and North Beach are all short cab rides away. Shopping, hanging at a café, or people watching in any of a multitude of neighborhoods is always an option. And, I’ve become a regular beach-goer during the summer months, ever since I discovered the amazing weather at Baker Beach.

Equally important to the geography and cityscape, I have some wonderful friends who live in SF and the Bay Area, with whom I’ve developed longstanding, meaningful relationships. And I’m always meeting new amazing new people in this city. It is full of talented, engaging, creative people, so many of whom are working hard to create value, and change the world. Meeting them and spending time with them enriches my life. Also, San Francisco is the cultural center of high technology, and I’ve been fortunate to establish my design career here.

Yet, the tug of San Diego pulls at my heart. My family lives there, and probably always will. I want to spend time with them. San Diego is a great city, with a diverse geography and some good restaurants, beautiful beaches, and amazing weather. It has a vibrant music and arts scene. And I guess I could maybe find a job there, possibly. Probably. The walking life would be a thing of the past. I’d have to make new friends – I don’t really have any in San Diego.

On the other hand, maybe I could start surfing again. And maybe I’d enjoy living in a smaller city, with fewer options and less action. Maybe I’d get in touch with the young boy who grew up in the suburbs and loved it. Maybe living on a quiet street in a tract home would be … grounding? But most of all, I’d be close to my family, and get to enjoy those little moments that are lost when you live 500 miles apart.